Staring at the sink

The past few days my feelings have ranged from being completely and utterly disgusted by women to being utterly and completely disgusted by men. What became pretty obvious is that I am well hanging on the verge of depression watching with apathy the dark dirty endless depths of my sink. Those interesting, productive, promissing and pretty, young people they’re really all cheaters when you really get to know them… and the rest are christians, who are in fact the filthier cheaters if given half a chance. My part is the pretty joyless one of the observer at this point, well and pretty much most of my aimless little life. I guess it’s christmas and nearly new years and as a result half of the people are looking back in retrospect, while the rest are doing everything they can to avoid it, taking advatage of the party opportunities on offer. I suppose I could do the same, as I am free as a bird and bare no guilt as of the past… decade probably… but the phrase my true thoughts can be resumed by is “I want a refund”. M&S, HnM, Ikea and all the good shops give refunds, why shouldn’t this give-and-take shit called “life” do the same? Where did all the ugly, rugged, edgy, sexy people really go? All those people who came from some rich country but opted for lifelong wonderer’s life? I used to meet them all the time! Could it be that I’ve become them? Oh shait!

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