Serious life

Sometimes I forget that life is serious
Every moment is a choice, even though a certain attitude was chosen at childhood
Every moment has consequences and is subject to remorse
The love for every person cannot be substituted
Taking responsibility for this hollow loneliness is not maturity, it’s just depressing
Creating is maturity and I wonder if I will ever manage to mature
I wonder if it’s late to exploit the limits of time
or whether an eventually expiring rhythm is simply ingrained in me
Fear of loss causes a zombifying silence
Fear of authority causes a zombifying fear of loss
Sometimes I feel like K wondering around the castle and asking questions that cannot be answered in this dimension
Quite likely because I talk too much
Expiring patience taking life out of people everywhere I look
The search for an answer as an unidentified sort of work, one that does not assist the system and therefore is marginalised
Worst fears coming to life, worst fears becoming neutralised
Dreams coming to life, dreams turning into worst fears
I need sleep
I wonder whether the carefree solitary life I live in my sleep is more real than this
Sweet surrender
Everything will flow
Nothing will end
I’m sleeping now

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