Freedom

Trying too much for yourself and someone else, who has given up, is really an inability to look inwards and as a consequence, critically outwards. But then again, people are always on the wrong when it comes to relationships, what matters is for two people to be willing to still consider each other infinitely. But what if someone has hurt you and would like to apologise? Do you just forget that a little time ago they actively inflicted pain and that in order to do that, they must have got something out of it? I never got those heartwarming apologies. I almost never forgive, even though I seem like I forget, well except for this one time when he didn’t fear to show himself and what he showed was so honest, I couldn’t but accept it. If you really want to forgive someone you care about, you actually have to find a way to inflict the same amount of pain. I’m sorry, but I don’t see a less vengeance prone way of maintaining equality.
I’ve been wondering for years, why do gays seem to be in the most equal, commited and loving relationships, than anyone I know? Well, I guess because they don’t follow behavioural patterns and protocols they inherited uncritically. Everything is a counteraction until proven otherwise and thus history is DIY, made in real time, it’s not pre-manufactured.
I don’t like emotional bullying from uninspired confused people, if you’re gonna hurt me do it right, for the right dark, sadomazochistic reasons and don’t look for cover afterwards like a sissy little child. Above all leave out the apology, that only makes sense a long long time afterwards when you are fully aware of the consequences.
Why pretend that life is hard, when it is hard for anyone living it, not merely pretending to…?
Why pretend you’re spoiled for choice? Love is what you work for and you only get a couple of real chances in life to find yourself honestly up for the deep pleasures of the hard work love is.
…Passing time with uninspired confused people is ok also.

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