precis!


what’s falling in love but a twist in a personal time continuum?
throw religion at me, throw some culture, throw a classic book or two…
the longer your song the longer my timeless fall lasts
every moment I’m loosing my sense of time
gaining your sense of rhythm
why are you empty? why are you blank? I’m giving all I fucken got
yeah that’s bloody all
you took a photograph, you sung a song
how could you think that was little, but how did you think that was much?
I dream of you at daytime and dream of you at night
and meanwhile living creatures breathe loving needy life all around me
but I never sleep at ease unless I’m next to you
how else do you think we could ever begin?
you never reply, you never ask, unless you do
I never know, I’m never anywhere but there
deep in my heart it’s all a fairytale waiting to blast
into splatter of guts and blood
is it the body, is it time or is it the computer one must conquer?
is it in the words or is it in the music?
we’re always multitasking, never saying enough, never stopping to think
truth is all I want
truth lost somewhere between mizery and bliss
will you sit next to me tonight?
that’s all I want
not all of the above and none of the below
just watch a stary sky from the edge of the world
holding your hand in a timeless bond
only to hear the sound of the plane crashing
despite of you and me
at the precise point where I end and you begin
precis! they all affirmed in a faraway country in the middle of frozen nowhere

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mumbling

While stuff were happening, I was thinking about sexual dimorphism in humans. Stuff happens and if you don’t make anything out of it, you might as well be dumb. I was raised to think we’re equal and similar, but deep inside no one believes that and it turns out that’s for good reason. Othen than body shape and size what I found quite interesting was brain size. Men have bigger brains on average, but of course due to issues from the side of humanities, no one advertises that fact too much. It’s also quite interesting that what seems to be distinctively different in our brains is this structure called “stria terminalis”, which seems to govern acute stress responses.
So I was thinking, it always gets on my nerves how fragile and oblivious women seem to be portrayed as in popular narrative, but it turns out it’s actually pretty accurate. We are smaller, with a less developed muscular system and try to avert stress, not because we’re wiser, but because we can’t deal with it. We would rather be gatherers, than hunters, we would rather say nothing than face confrontations.
It seemed allegoric that I found myself mumbling something and shutting the door behind hesistantly, waiting for something to stop me, heart sinking, mind trying to recite song lyrics. I drove off fast, terrified to even look back, drove recklessly back home, trying not to think about the following days… I’ll be alright, people are always nice to me anyways, probably for the wrong reasons, but who cares, just play along for now.
I play along and mumble, I live longer, but do I choose how I live? Do I even care? Well yeah, I do, but I detest being dominated so much that I might never say what I meant to, unless someone lends a polite ear. If there would be any benefit for humans in a woman having a brain, it would have to be harvested through a kind unobstructive ear.