a darker shade of blond

Pale blue eyes
never liked blond particularly
didn’t really mean to meet up
some distant memory of you vanishing
just as I was beginning
was stopping me
but word was on the street you were looking for me
and I had to come
cause I know a million things about you
stuff they couldn’t even imagine
about how your brain and everything about you works
how your clothes are well attuned to a particular style and era
and your barmen and waitresses are all mythical creatures of the night
and coctails and shots are all well paced
when I’m out with you I just surrender
everything comes together to a higher aesthetic
I would follow you to any bar
even if you told me it’s at the end of the galaxy
even though I’d probably have to drive us there
Blond never seemed darker
young never seemed wiser
you sit there like a shadow at the end of the bar
I feel your eyes on me
but I don’t dare turn around
because I’m one of the few people I know (including you)
who believe in your ability to see things to their very core
and that terrifies me
sometimes I look around to make sure I didn’t miss you
but you’re too smart even when it’s random
you’re too smart for my sober middleclass friends
even though you trashed your brain a few times already
they can blame you if they like
but I wouldn’t, even if you hadn’t kissed me
I pass by that corner every day and clench my fists
and every morning as I make breakfast
I stop and stare at the graffiti on the wall opposite my window
it says “as long as you live we’ll be your strength”
you wrote it with your friends a few years ago
I used to think there was a message for me in that
but it really was about football
I laugh to myself and think
“well maybe you’re not that smart after all”

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