jealousy

It is a wonderous feeling of unrest. Piercing through one’s imagination and retrieving the darkest, most freudian fears. Belief in dark nightmarish insecurities haunting our entire lives. Fears of abandonment and betrayal isolating you in a frozen forest from human contact. Making every move and waking moment fearful and hesitant, overshadowed by a constant suspicion, hinting that every word others utter is a terrible lie. Obsession and objectification of human beings, which turn into precious monuments, requiring constant worship by vindictive gods. The games that the mind plays… what evolutionary purpose could they possibly serve? Every political movement and leader motivated by vice and fear, every uprising by loss. The darkness of human history is the insuperable force of mass jealousy.

We turn our heads to all this madness by looking at the developing world, thirsty for blood, we watch the bombings and shed tears for orphaned or dismemebered children, waiting for the refugees to arrive, distributing blankets and clothes from our overstuffed cupboards, feeding on their gratitude. Then we march hand in hand, swallowing tear-gas, and police violence, returning to law-abiding homes exhausted. Back to capitalism, a place where every value is virtual, where collective evolution is in a constant battle for personal, everyone convinced that they can have more than they worked for, more than what was given to them, as much as someone else, or even more, alternating gods and objects of desire, lost in a maze.

The simple, the loyal, the quiet, the decent, the inspiring, the honest, the affectionate, the observant, the receptive and the loving – will they kneel to jealousy, will they complement each other like yin and yang or will they stand above? If we want to be realistic, they will probably take drugs, drink alcohol, be promiscuous and party until they nearly drop dead, at which point they are told it’s this virtual reality or nothing.

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