living together

I’m so tired of your absent presence

there are always signs of you having crept in

there’s nothing I can write, which I know you will not read

there’s nothing I can do, which you won’t see

but you always say that you don’t care

and then suddenly it turns out you’ve seen everything

I want to see you

but I’m so scared of you unlocking my door with your key

asking me to pretend you’re not here

while with my third eye I watch your third eye watching me

I can do with together

I suppose can do with apart

but I can’t continue telling myself and everyone else you’re not here when I know you are

It’s like sleeping in the same bed when we’re not allowed to touch

It’s like trying to discipline the wrong aspects of life to make up for the chaos in others

I would like to invite you in, but only if you want to be here

I don’t like this sneaky friend walking in on my life

wanting to have nothing to do with it

I know I talk too much

I generally do when I’m annoyed

It’s my way of saying I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I’m terribly annoyed and out of self respect have to find an outlet

I need some privacy

I suffer from the lack of it cause I have a kid

I’m glad you told me we won’t see each other for a couple of days

I needed a couple of days

even though I’m always happy to see you

but instead of enjoying privacy I’m sitting here dreading you walking in suddenly

disrupting my line of thought

If I knew you were coming at a certain time

it would probably make me so happy

or if I knew you came to see me and talk

I hope you feel better soon and come to see me

I’ve been so absent-minded lately

and I think it’s because my body and mind are in such need of some kind of free expression

that they’re actually claiming it physically

everytime I see you I jump

not because I’m scared or appaled or something

but because it’s more important to think about you than to see you sometimes

you must feel the same

and it’s funny how we can’t figure out a solution to the problem different aspects of which we both recognise

I think it’s because we don’t trust each other to return to our previous state of intimacy

we’re both too scared we’ll drift apart

that is exactly our problem

lack of trust

is there anything else ever the problem between people?

well if you can’t trust your friend

who can you trust?

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