You say nothing of what you want to say
which makes it easy to speak the truth
When the bitterness is truly mutual
then we’ll be equal
we’ve been watching each other for half my lifetime
and yet we never tried
absolutely no one understands why
including me
and yet I understand why we didn’t try better than why we are trying now
what has come to be truly incomprehensible is why we are not succeeding
it really is just a fuck
both of us have fucked everyone
really not a big deal
and yet a big deal it has had become
we’ve gone through the boredom, the heartbreak and the stds
it’s fine, we know how it goes
sorry, but I do have baggage
and back in the day it used to be as simple as “lets fuck”
why be so orthodox about it?
Cross-referencing everything and bitter bitching has suddenly become our niche
I cannot put in words how angry with myself it makes me
I’ve been so furious I can’t sleep
it’s like you expect me to be something more than be a bimbo
and oh god it’s tiring
I do not like being projected onto
I do not like having to be a femme fatale
they all die tragic unorgasmic deaths like Niko and my mother
After she died we sat at the balcony chain-smoking and my dad said
“I can’t believe I got such a hot chick to marry me”
OMG I was furious at him
You retarded idiot, she was in love with you, had three horrible kids and spent all your life together and moreover she’s dead
What the fuck can be wrong with your wounded ego to say something so idiotic?
Anyway inherent autism I could probably deal with, as long as there would be sex
Now I know she probably got cancer because she wasn’t getting any
She got really drunk one night and allegedly confessed she fantacised about fucking a guy from albania
that’s why I did it, now you know
so we can put that behind us
Yeah, I’m so tired from not sleeping, the additional mRNA and not fucking I could probably get off better punching someone
But going back to the main point of this stupid idiotic whatever
Our friendship has probably been irreparably affected by the tension and our love story has a tumour plus chain-smoking, drug and alcohol abuse issues
So just invite me over and lets fuck, you fucken really intelligent lovable perverted idiot
And if I know you at all that’s the point where you say:
“darling I don’t want to fuck you, you might be getting a bit confused”
HAHAHA ok I love you but fuck you!