zombie herd of sheep

-The sheep are dead!

-How can they be dead? who killed them?

-I did.

-How could you? How did you kill them? Did they know they were going to die?

-No, they had no idea. I killed them with a gun.

-Hmmm at least they didn’t know.

-Do you realise they might come back and haunt you? That herd, always so willing to follow you around and lick you, so soft and whooly. Oh god why?

-They are dead, I made money.

-What kind of man are you?

-I didn’t enjoy killing them, you know.

-But you were the one who caused their death. They are now meat.

-Clearly, but you know I would much rather have meat that I know lived a happy life.

-Meat living a life, happy matter, life, food, I can’t even begin to understand how all these things are related.

-I do.

-Baaaaaaaa baaaaaaa…. Can you hear that? It’s the sheep back to haunt you… You used to have a herd of sheep in your garden, now you have a zombie herd of sheep!

-Ha ha ha, you’re an idiot.

-I know, but emm… yeah.

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my best friend, brain

My brain is like a cat and sadly I hate cats, they have so little consideration for the collective

it loves finding boxes and enclosing itself

it usually comes out at the most unexpected times

and knocks over a vase with flowers I was carefully arranging for hours

it is at its most embarrassing when sexually attracted to people and ideas

it pleases itself with obscenities that serve no other purpose than its unsatisfiable hunger for play

it lacks eyes, ears and nose and just curls up next to the wrong people purring like an idiot

it mostly enjoys reading books by complete assholes

the few times we like the same books I announce it to everyone triumphantly

little do they know what I have to go though with this tasteless horny idiot all the time

it just finished reading a book by Celine

it really liked it and I find it quite embarrassing

he was a fucken sick fascist, brain! I cry out, but it just doesn’t care

I’m really angry at the moment and I need to stop writing and get drunk

I am not normally violent, but sometimes I even suspect it has phallocratic tendencies

we’re freaking girls!!!

Oh no was that another brain cell dieing?

Oh no, poor brain, so sorry for you… NOT!

a day in southpark

Bullshit all day long

streets paved with idiots

my life paved with idiots

chasing me forever

calling me to tell me I was right

“hello idiot, so kind of you to remind me you existed”

elongated genitals in my inbox

the only thing they have to show

regurgitating information

brains melting like ice-cream

slimy sticky brains weighting over shoulders

complete override of disgust

conservatism praised for its graceful nothingness

narcissism styled to perfection

a desire to devour

like maniacs looking without seeing

screaming in silence

swallowing without tasting

revenge on everyone’s mind

Céline smiling from hell

and yet

nature beautifully tagging everything with expiration dates